Bila Allah Menduga...

salam, buat blogku yang tersayang...it has been awhile since i last logged on..i have always been a 'not-so-fanatic' with this blogging thingy..but i try my best to log in at least once a month so that, it wont just 'evaporate' into thin air...hehehe...this time, i wanted to taLK about something serious...almost a year and a half ago, i gave birth to a beautiful baby girl...it was a miracle...and we, my husband and i were having the best time of our life with our new addition to the family...well, to cut short the story, i noticed that during the berpantang thingy, i noticed that my dandruff on my scalp were getting worst and some of my bodyparts, to be specific on both my knees and elbows have scaly patches on them...at first they were not that obvious...in which resulted in me ignoring them...but as time passed by..these patches never went away..and the 'dandruff' which is actually not just ordinary 'dandruff' was still bugging me...i have to admit..this resulted in me trying to hide this patches..i started to bulk up my clothing just to hide them...and of course..i wear tudung almost all the time...even to sidai baju..(well, memang patut pun kena pakai tudung...aurat). so, i decided to check it out...to a skin expert..a private clinic to be exact...so, when i went there, i thought that..ok..im here in the clinic and im going to get the medications and then..maybe..they will disappear...when i got into the room...of course...i did what im good at...exlaining in details on what is happening to me...and then........................the diagnose was a shocker...I HAVE PSORIASIS.

WHAT IS PSORIASIS? It is an autoimmune disease where it is still a mystery and have i mention that this disease has no CURE??yes, ladies and gentlemen...i have psoriasis....the news was a slap on my face...i am and still in disbelieve feeling.....and trying to crack my head..to find what might have triggered this disease to wake up from years of remission.....to be honest...i am ashame...malu sangat...bukan dengan masyarakat..but to my husband...rasa macam diri dah tak cantik...well, selama nih pun memang aku tak cantik...dahla bertubuh gempal...walaupun comel...hehehe...tapi i know that..maybe deep in him, he may has an imaginary wife who is beautiful..ntahla...aku tak tau pun macamana...apa yang dia pikir...aku rasa la...rasa macam kesian sangat kat dia sebab dapat aku yang tak sempurna nih...dahla tuh...berpenyakit lak tuh..kalu penyakit ni, sakit kat dalam2 je ker...mungkin aku tak rasa macamni...tapi sebab this disease will cause the skin of the person to be macam bersisik...macam sakit kulit...orang tak tahu macamana penyakit ni...ia cuma penyakit yang diturunkan dalam darah..dalam erti kata lain..ianya adalah keturunan...dan tak berjangkit melalui sentuhan..malah bukan disebabkan oleh hygiene pun..it just happen...anytime and anywhere....ntahla...aku sebenarnya takut suami aku tak sayang kat aku lagi...aku nak dia tengok aku dalam keadaan tanpa yang buruk ni....hai, aku nih sebenarnya adalah seorang yang optimis..aku redha bahawa Allah nak uji aku..dan aku terima sekiranya inilah caranya jika Allah nak aku menutup aurat mengikut cara yang betul...aku redha...suami aku pun suka kalu aku pelihara aurat aku...but aku tak bleh nak lari dari perasaan insecure nih...aku tak nak suami aku rasa jijik ngan aku...setakat ni, dia memang baik...tak pernah berubah sikitpun dalam perhubungan kami...malah hubungan suami isteri kami masih lagi rancak macam dulu...but i just cant help this feeling...ya Allah...tolonglah.......

most of the students are now back at their hometown, as this week is the semester break for this semester. and as for me lak, im stuck at the office, doing absolutely nothing. bukannyer takder keje, ada berlambak keje, tapi ntahla, biasalah, malas nak buat lagi. dah nak abis keje baru nak buat keje...hehehe...pening kepala dok depan komputer...buka internet, asyik buka suratkhabar....i jus dont understand how some people can sit and stare the computer for hours...i mean, i myself cannot...CANNOT sit and looking at the computer for even 1 hour straight. letih la mata...lagipun macam nak juling tengok skrin....apa2la...yang giler main komputer tuh, memang giler.....

Salam 2010...

alahai...kalu ada orang baca blog nih, mesti ada orang akan kata.."Woi, lampi betul lah! dah 3 bulan sambut New Year!!!" a'ah kan dah hampir 3 bulan kita menyambut tahun baru 2010, tapi it doesn't matter, because to me i don't really care about the celebration and the what so ever called as the new year's resolution, but what is more important is that we are living every seconds in our days in live with the poeple that we care and love. i wanted to talk about the life that i have now, i have a wonderful husband who cooks my breakfast this morning untuk ditapau ke tempat kerja (time kasih yer abang sebab masak kat waddah pagi tadi) and a beautiful and yet solehah daughter, anak mama, Iman. our darling daughter is already one year old this year, macam tak percaya lak bila tengok Iman dah besar, macam miracle. rasa macam, bila aku mengandung yek? bila aku bersalin yek? yeah, i know that it sounds weird but i do feel like that. i am in disbelief feelings. macam tak percaya tau. to tell you the truth, masa in labour tuh, Allah maha Kaya, aku tak rasa sakit sangat pun. malah cuma back pain yang seolah2 macam period pain. in fact, my contractions pun tak der dalam monitor...pelik kan.. but suami kesayangan berada disamping all the time, giving me a lot of encouragement throughout the whole time. alas, when the time i felt like pushing the baby, aku tak der pun rasa sakit, except nak rasa macam nak teran jer...i pushed for about 3 times and the fourth time, WELCOME BABY IMAN....but that was a year ago, now our baby is already 1 year old..dah berlari dah pun. bijak lak tuh...anak mama memang bijak dan solehah...rasa macam nak bagi jer adik kat Iman, tapi pikir2 biarlah dulu... ada banyak commitment lain. suami aku pun murah rezeki selepas kelahiran anak kami tuh. dia dapat Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang, dapat beli motor baru dan yang terbaru dapat tukar kereta lama dia ke kereta baru...Alhamdullilah...sume berkat kerajinan dia. aku tahu dia memang kerja kuat dan dia layak dapat sume tuh...ha, talking about Iman's 1st birthday, kami suma menyambutnya secara ala kadar. takder pun jemputan luaran, cuma kami anak beranak dan yang terpenting, mama, abah dan amira ada. hafiz lak, tak balik masa tuh, jadi dia tekder. kalu ikutkan hati aku, nak jer aku sambut besar2an, tapi kami suami isteri nak didik Iman dengan kesederhanaan, nak ajar dia dengan perasaan rendah diri dan yang pasti nak dia faham, bahawa kesenangan bukanlah satu perkara yang mudah untuk digapai dalam hidup. kami nak dia belajar melalui kesusahan, memahami akan keadaan orang lain yang mungkin tak senasib atau sesenang Iman. kami pun tak lah senang mana, ada ketikanya kami juga ada merasai kesempitan wang, tapi kami lalui dengan sabar dan redha akan ketentuan Yang Maha Esa. setakat ini, sumenya cukup makan, cukup pakai, cukup segala2nya...Alhamdulillah...moga Allah membuka Hati kami sekeluarga untuk sentiasa menerima Hidayah Mu Ya Allah....Amin

Amik Gambar...

Dah lama tak tulis blog..memang sibuk lah kebelakangan ni...my workplace has been very busy since ada pilihanraya kecil haritu...tiba2 lak banyak menteri nak datang melawat...apa lagi...kitaorang lah yang sibuk kena melayan...tapi nakbuat camna..."kami yang menurut perintah" heheheh...anyway, baru2 nih kami sekeluarga dah pun buat appointment kat Hollywood Bridal Gallery (betul ke nama nih...tak sure lah...tapi tempat nih memang famous la kar seremban) untuk sessi photography 1Famili...macam 1Malaysia lak..hehehe....so, mama, abah, kami 1 famili, adik dan hafiz & ijan pegi sana...memang best lah...gambar lak..memang cantik2 belaka...puas atilah dapat bayar 500 lebih pun...my little princess lak..looks cute and adorable wearing baju kurung and aku sempat la..ikat rambut dia tocang...comel betul...my husband...mcam biasa..hemsem sentiasa...

Selamat Hari Raya 2009...

Selamat Hari Raya...hai...this time around my hubby and i are celebrating Hari Raya with our little bundle of joy...our little princess, Wan Nurul Iman Wan Mohd Shukry...she is already 7 months and oh boy...she's a bit "buas" hehehe...but memang raya kali ni yang amat membahagiakan diri aku dan suami tercinta...Iman lak..macam2 benda dia belajar masa cuti raya ni..pandai merangkak, memanjat, buat funny faces..takleh berjauhan dengan aku..pandai bye2 dan geleng kepala bila tak nak...alhamdulillah..bijak anak kami ni...memang tak dinafikan...memang kami banyak lebihkan si kecik nih..baju usah cakaplah...banyak pasang..plus sepasang baju kurung tok ma kelantan dia jahitkan...memang comel Iman...atok ma dan atok pa dia plak..belikan baju mahal2...seluar jeans lagi...RM 60 hinggit!!! mak oi..baju mama pun tak mahal macam tu saygnku...takperlah..untuk anak tersayang...hish..tingin nak tambah satu lagi..lagi bila tengok suami ku tersayang bermain ngan Iman..nak jer bagi Baby brother atau baby sis kat Iman...hehehe....ya Allah..terima kasih atas kebahagiaan yang Kau limpahkan kepada kami...RahmatMu aku junjung dan aku terima dengan zikir memuji Mu Ya Allah...Terima Kasih

Hafiz Nikah Day...

Baby Iman awake and ready to ...

Papa, Mama & Baby Iman in front of Masjid Sultan Salahuddin Shah (Shah Alam).

Waiting for the rest of the rombongan (from Kelantan). Cian Baby Iman, sampai tertido.

Hafiz Kawin

pheww, the last few days have been really tiring...my only brother, Hafiz finally got married to Ijan...Congratulations..the wedding reminded me a lot of my own wedding...two years ago to my loving husband...it was simple and yet memorable...a lot of people came to celebrate our wedding..ahh...how wonderful it was. but then, the wedding is just the beginning of many more adventures, laughs, cries and tribulations...which comes along with the 'knot'. you are not just marrying the person you love, but also everything that your partner has in his/ or her life. marrying that person you love means that you have to learn to share the person you love with someone else. my marriage with Shuk, is filled with a lot of 'things'..i mean, we have known each other for more than 5 years before we got married and of course, after being with him for so many years, i thought i have known him. but then, being married also means that you got to know that person in person, his life, his habits, his yes and nos for certain things...pheww...a lot you know....and i also noticed that i am loving him more and more, though at certain times we do have some arguments between us..but the make-ups after each arguments brings the two of us closer to each other. being married also makes you understand more on the word "tolerate". toleration between the husband and wife is important, as the word "I" now have to be changed to "us" and "we". "i" is no longer the priority..its "us" that need to be focused on. im not saying that we should ignored the concept of individuality in marriage, but you have to make sacrifices, to make sure that everybody's happy. you still have to pamper yourself once in a while, to glam up your life with the you loved ones...oh yess, you have to..kalu tak...be prepared to share your husband with another womanla...heheheh....anyways, Congratulations and hope that you'll have a happy life together. Amin...